why is it so hard for parents to let their kids do their own thing? i am a 28 year old working man, in a different continent from my home. at this time in my life, i am in the thickest of struggle with my family. i simply would like to go on and do my own thing, live my life in a way i prefer. my parents would rather have me do things as they'd like, consult/discuss everything i do with them, go down the arranged marriage route. not that i hadn't thought of doing it, but after few years of doing it their way, i couldn't handle the conflicts, displeasure, stigma about "acceptance-of-society" (especially of one that i don't even live in anymore). so, i am scuffling to break away.
granted, my family hails from a small village, and we are farmers. there is not a whole lot of worldly education and many things about life are perceived from a rather narrow vision. i, on the other hand, am a bit of a curious learner for my own good. my liberal ideas for life, are colossal conflicts with my parents' views for my life. all the repeated conversations and arguments to help them understand my view, only left them with utter disappointment and angst.
a kid must be let to fall, only so he can getup and be able to walk. a kid must be let go, so he can learn to balance the cycle by himself. all the birds fly away one day. we learn these lessons from life over and over again. yet, we fail to see those lessons being useful at every step. i do not blame them or me. it is just two different perspectives that neither overlap slightly, nor are willing to. my eventual decision to move on and find my own way, even if it means hurting my parents now, might seem like i disrespect my parents. i think that is where most of their disappointment stems from. on the other hand, i highly regard and respect my parents. but i regard being true to oneself highly than anything else. at this point, i sit on the edge of a giant question mark, jittering. i know where i am going, and what must i do.
"mom, dad, let go. i have to go. and i will be fine."
granted, my family hails from a small village, and we are farmers. there is not a whole lot of worldly education and many things about life are perceived from a rather narrow vision. i, on the other hand, am a bit of a curious learner for my own good. my liberal ideas for life, are colossal conflicts with my parents' views for my life. all the repeated conversations and arguments to help them understand my view, only left them with utter disappointment and angst.
a kid must be let to fall, only so he can getup and be able to walk. a kid must be let go, so he can learn to balance the cycle by himself. all the birds fly away one day. we learn these lessons from life over and over again. yet, we fail to see those lessons being useful at every step. i do not blame them or me. it is just two different perspectives that neither overlap slightly, nor are willing to. my eventual decision to move on and find my own way, even if it means hurting my parents now, might seem like i disrespect my parents. i think that is where most of their disappointment stems from. on the other hand, i highly regard and respect my parents. but i regard being true to oneself highly than anything else. at this point, i sit on the edge of a giant question mark, jittering. i know where i am going, and what must i do.
"mom, dad, let go. i have to go. and i will be fine."
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Before you post any comments, just thought I'd let you know that I know swear words in 4 different languages.